Posted December 7, 2009 10:59 AM
By Ascend Worldwide Admin
Retirement...No I've got routes to fill
This week came the news that the saviour of Irish Aviation Michael O’Leary would be staying at the helm of Ryanair for a further two to three years. I’m sure those who have taken his flights, some even to the same country than that of their hotel will all breathe a huge sigh of relief…
This week came the news that the saviour of Irish Aviation Michael O’Leary would be staying at the helm of Ryanair for a further two to three years. I’m sure those who have taken his flights, some even to the same country than that of their hotel will all breathe a huge sigh of relief…
In light of this news I thought it was only right to honour the man by not only highlighting some of his own crazy cost cutting/ profit making ideas but bring you the definitive run down on the Craziest Ideas For Flying:
5. ‘The Smoking Cube’
The smoking cube is a Ryanair initiative whereby passengers can smoke on an aeroplane in a cubicle for three euros. Yes so that means lighter/matches on a plane in the hands of a Ryanair passenger. So fire on a plane…no I don’t like it either. Luckily we won’t be seeing this anytime soon.
4. ‘Nip Off to the Toilet Please’
A classic from All Nippon Airways asking passengers to use the toilet before boarding the planes to reduce carbon emissions by five tonnes a month…sadly there is some stomach churning maths here and some easy but predictable jokes. I’ll let you make your own…
3. ‘Balancing Act’
A classic from Spring Airlines and one that is the social equivalent to turning a trusted local pub into a wine bar. Although this would mean 40% more passengers, bar stools are not to be trusted at the best of times let alone at 40,000 feet in turbulence, I mean most struggle with them in the pub at 11pm on a Friday. So Spring Airlines are well…crazy.
2. ‘Standing Room Only’
Another from O’Leary, talks were ongoing about developing a standing room only section on Boeing aircrafts. This is certainly a step up from Barstools but for me I worry about the poor cabin crew – Will there be two emergency procedures? Where will the trolley go? Will it actually be a cattle market? Luckily for all of us talks have been halted…temporarily.
1. ‘Fat Tax’
My favourite and O’Leary’s best. The idea of Ryanair becoming a substandard ‘Fit Club’ really appeals. The main premise of this measure is anyone over 20 stone, with a 41 inch waist or someone whose waist touches both sides of the arm rest would have to pay a surcharge. The scene of a line of ‘larger’ members being measured in Panamas and Bermudas at the height of summer really is a heart warming image.
I think this stinks of brilliance indeed Southwestern and United Airline have already brought this in some form and over 45,000 passengers voted in favour of the measure with Ryanair. Unfortunately I believe we will not be seeing this anytime soon due to the amount of scales and tape measures they would have to buy…I know Ryanair spending money on something other than Boeing – Fat Chance.
Whatever can be said for him and his ideas, O’Leary is a thoroughly enthralling spokesman one that like his business strategy is aggressive. Ryanair’s strategy of Aggressive Growth have made them Europe’s biggest airline and O’Leary Aggressive not politically correct statements have made him one of the most loved and hated people in the industry. Currently I’d like to see a man more embody his business!
Feel free to add any you have heard and moreover hear in the coming months as with talks stalling with Boeing O’Leary will be costing cutting again soon, so watch this space!
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